Do you find yourself changing jobs (at least) once a year? I did. Especially when I just graduated university. No job satisfied me and I regularly found myself scrolling through indeed.com while at work. In this post, I’ll tell you how I broke the cycle and how to stop job hopping. I’ll give you some action steps that will help you find the perfect position.
Job hopping – why I’m a fan
Many people – mostly older recruiters – will tell you job hopping looks bad on your resumé. And while I understand that it looks like you might have commitment issues, job hopping can be super beneficial for a number of reasons:
- you get to experience multiple work environments, so you’ll better know what suits you best (and what you absolutely want to avoid)
- you build a network quickly
- you can earn more money (asking for a higher salary with each new job)
- you learn a bunch of new skills
Job hopping can be a lot of fun, if – however – you do it because of the reasons above. Unhealthy job hopping looks a bit different. And I’ll tell you my story…
Unhealthy job hopping – what does it look like?
Let me paint you my picture. And maybe you’ll recognize yourself in this pattern….
Month 1 – 3
In the first 3 months I was always mega excited about my new job! They were pure bliss. New office, new colleagues, new rhythm, new cafeteria food. I got to know my colleagues outside of work by getting coffee or drinks. In most jobs, the first 3 months equaled not having a lot of responsibilities either since I was new and couldn’t possibly know everything that was going on. So I’d just do the things asked of me and shut down the computer at 5pm to go home.
Month 4 – 6
During these months, the speed usually picked up. I got my own projects and started playing a larger role within the team. This was the time I got to “prove” myself. At first I would always enjoy this stage of my job because the work itself started to become more challenging (aka fun).
However, in the later part of this stage, some sh*t would go down. Something along the lines of my boss calling me out because of a mistake I made, having my first disagreement with a colleague or truly failing at a project. Whatever it was, it kept me up at night. For weeks at a time. I’d have a knot in my stomach going to the office.
This was usually my breaking point.
Month 6 – 9
Months 6 through 9 mostly consisted of me bitching about my job to anyone who’d hear it. My friends, family, work friends, and my cat. During this phase, I would be completely aware of the office politics and I’d knew how to navigate the game. But the job itself was already ruined for me because of months 4-6. I started getting bored with the projects, the environment and people.
Month 10 – 12
After moaning for 3 months and talking it over with many people, I would usually decide to start looking for another job at this stage. There was just no going back. I would always go to work excited again because of the prospect of finding a new adventure. Because I was applying for multiple jobs, I’d have this “I-don’t-give-a-f*ck” attitude at work. Which made me one of the worst team members. I would no longer care about getting work done on time….or even at all.
Until one day, I’d get the good news that I’d been hired by a new company!
And this cycle would repeat all over again. No exception.
Let me tell you. I’ve kept up this pattern for about 5 years. Some jobs lasted a year, others didn’t even make the 6 month cut.
Reflecting on choices
At one point, maybe after my second job – I started to wonder:
- Why am I unable to invest in a job/company?
- Why am I always bored/annoyed after 6 months?
- Did I choose the right education?
- Is there something I can do to change my behavior?
- What is it I actually want to do?
- What is my purpose?
- What is my why?
- Why did God put me on this planet?
You know, the usual quart-life crisis questions. But if I wanted to succeed in my career (and life) I really needed the answers. That’s where it was time to dig deep.
Here’s how to stop job hopping
First, let me start by saying that this is a process. A process that can take years. And that’s totally ok <3.
Upgrade your mindset
You can’t change life, but you can change the way you react to it. It all starts by upgrading your mindset. You need to look at yourself critically and define what your beliefs are around the key areas in your life: work & career, love, health, finances, family & friends and yourself. What stories have you been telling yourself around these topics? Which stories empower you to get the best out of yourself? And what stories can you upgrade or unlearn in order to level up?
Getting out of victim mode (I am upset because….) and stepping into my personal power was one of the biggest changes I made in the beginning. Stop blaming outside sources of your anger, sadness, stress and discomfort. Take responsibility for everything that happened in your life.
Get to know yourself
“Know thyself” is the MOST powerful thing you can do for yourself. Knowing who you are, how you act, what triggers you, how you come across to others etc. – can help you navigate life.
There are many different ways to get to know yourself. Look at your personality type, for example. You can take the Myers-Briggs test (cognitive functions) or look into your Enneagram. Although your personality type is not set in stone, it does give you insight into your nature. For me, it finally put into words how I felt inside. The MBTI gave me the tools to explain to others how I function best and how to treat me to get maximum results. It also showed me how my behavior affects others and what I can do to communicate more effectively.
Then there is also the spiritual route. Connecting to your higher self is a great way to understand your mission. Astrology is a wonderful tool to get the blueprint to your soul – what are you meant to do here on earth? What are your strengths? And I’m not talking about reading your daily horoscope. I’m talking about doing a full birth chart analysis. Gene Keys, Human Design – they’re all great ways to connect to Source and find out more about your soul and how to navigate this human experience.
Whatever route you choose – do everything in your power to know WHO you are at your core.
You don’t need to figure out life by yourself. Invest in a couple of sessions with a coach. That’s what I did! Friends and family are great resources and people to discuss your life with, but they’re not going through the same process as you. Plus, because they’re so close to you, they might not give you the tough love you need.
A coach can hand you all the tools you need to step up. Most of the time, a coach has already gone through the things you’re experiencing right now. They know how to get through it with success. Coaches don’t teach you their ways, but they guide you by asking the right questions so that you can figure out what’s best for your situation. Having someone by your side who holds you accountable and is there for support is genuinely a nice feeling. You feel supported & heard!
Define your purpose
We are human beings not human doings. So, who exactly are you when you’re not at your job? What sets your soul on fire? And no, I’m not talking about passions/hobbies. Again, that’s human doing not being.
What do you value most in life? Why do you do what you do? What gets you out of bed in the morning? What qualities do you enjoy expressing?
What does your intuition say? When did you last experience pure joy? When you add up all of these joyful experiences, what is the common denominator?
Lots of questions…Lean into it. Read books, listen to podcasts – heck, visit a Tony Robbins conference. When I first got into personal development, I would wake up and go to bed with Tony. Not literally. But you get the point. Invest in finding your purpose.
Break the cycle – find career bliss
Listen, one thing’s for sure: you’re not the only one. Everyone in their life has wondered what the f* they’re doing here on earth. It’s just that 30 years ago we called it midlife crisis. Now it’s the millennial problem. And really, who can blame us? There are so many options for us. We can basically open a laptop and start a business. We don’t need to work 9-5 for 50+ years. We have so much freedom, so much choice. But with choice, comes great responsibility.
Don’t freeze up, get some help! Talk about it. Together we can figure out what your next steps are going to be!
Need help? Don’t hesitate to reach out.